discovering the obvious

Every now and then I discover the obvious. Sometimes I walk outside and "discover" why storm drains are directed away from the wood shingles on the side of houses. Sometimes I read the newspaper and "discover" why corporate capitalism is distinct from market capitalism and how there's no stopping corporate consolidation. And just the other day I discovered the very peculiar love I possess for my son. I'm struck by overwhelming feelings of attachment to this little being.


I suppose one could call it love, but it seems different than the garden variety. I know the love one has for their parents: an always-there phenomenon. Or romantic love based on an assumption of reciprocity.


Or the love for a friend based on respect and reverance. But then there's this other kind of love that I've lately been feeling for our son. It's partly based on creationism. By that I mean, I love this child, like God loves man, simply because I made him.

And it's partly based on potentiality. I love the thought of all the things to come. It's partly based on the desire for self-recognition. I love this child because he needs me. It's partly based on humanism. I love this child because he represents everything human I no longer take the time to recognize in myself.


And finally, it's partly based on the satisfaction of having a relationship so utterly void of pretense and presumption.

Whatever the sum of these parts, it's a profoundly new experience for me. And I'm sure as he acquires language and learns to manipulate us, I'll quickly forget the reason for this love. But the love will remain, and it will be constructed on a magnificent foundation.